Friday Funny

Backyard Martinis

I was watching my son act like James Bond in the garden earlier today.
He wasn’t going round pretending to shoot people,
he was sipping martinis and chatting up all the ladies that walked by.
I’m so proud of him.


For more fun Martini jokes check out the appropriately titled “Martini Jokes” page, or click the link: Martini Jokes.

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Martini Making Pet Peeves

Do you have a pet peeve regarding Martini Making?  I do, several.

Having now carefully observed many bartenders making my Martinis and, on occasion, taking notes I have come up with a few pet peeves on bartender’s Martini making processes.  Now, I’m not going to claim that any of these little nits actually make a difference in the taste of the Martini, but they sure do affect the enjoyment of the Martini.

My first, and by far the biggest, pet peeve is leaving my finished martini on the bar or prep station instead of giving it to me.  I can see that the Martini is done and yet there it sits over by the bartender instead of in front of me.  It’s getting warm and my tip is getting lower by the second.

I don’t care if your boss has a question.  Or the phone rings.  Or the bar-back needs guidance.  Or, god forbid, your spouse / GF/BF calls.  I’m the customer and my Martini should be delivered immediately upon completion.

The second pet peeve is similar to the first but not as egregious.  And that is the barkeep taking FOREVER to make the martini.  First walking to one end of the bar to get a martini stem before putting it down on the prep station.  Then looking around and getting  some ice to put in the stem.  Perhaps going to get some water to put on the ice in the stem.  Then walking to the far end of the bar to get the gin and bringing to the prep station.   Looking around for a jigger before walking over to the tool chest and finding it.  Finally mixing the Martini and then looking around for the garnish.  Oh, right, there isn’t one, so then we start the process of looking for a lemon to make the twist…..

Speaking of the garnish; pet peeve number three.  Get the garnish ready FIRST.  Put the olives on the toothpick or strip the twist off the lemon first.  You’ve properly shaken the gin and vermouth and poured into the chilled stem.  It’s all now perfectly mixed and nicely chilled.  But if you start working on your garnish now the Martini is just warming up.

Next Pet Peeve: Inadequately stirred Martinis.  As you know I prefer my Martini shaken, but I don’t ask for it shaken.  If the house policy is stirring, then I’m fine with that.  BUT, stir it enough to properly chill the Martini.  A quick 10 second stir is NOT enough.  It needs a good 60 seconds of stirring.  If you can’t take the time to properly prepare a stirred and chilled Martini then shake it.

Rarest Pet Peeve:  Not knowing how to make a Martini.  Enough said!

Final Pet Peeves.  This is for all the other little “tip killing” annoyances:
•Not knowing what Gins you stock.  Really?  There usually aren’t that many.  Or are Gin drinkers really that rare?
•Not knowing that you’re out of one of the Gins.  I’ll cut you a little slack here if you’ve just come on duty.
•Dirty stem.  Didn’t you look at the stem when you picked it up?  Didn’t you see the lipstick or left over chocolate on it?  Or did you just not care?
•Cracked stem.  Again, didn’t you look at the stem when you picked it up?
•Soapy stem.  Hey, I’m really glad you washed the stem, but next time please rinse it completely.

Vodka Clown Show?

I’m not much of a Vodka drinker, and certainly never in Martinis.  None-the-less one cannot have helped but notice the recent trend in flavored Vodkas.  I’ve observed this with great amusement and occasional bewilderment.  I mean Bacon Vodka?  Really?  If I want bacon I’ll have bacon.  No need to blemish bacon with vodka.

I bring this up because I recently read a blog commenting that perhaps this trend is happily coming to an end.  Rather than repeat the whole article I’m just going to refer you to the source:  Good Libations.  Enjoy.

Great Gin Selection at the local Reststop!

Fantastic Gin Selection

Last week while traveling in Scotland, we stopped at a little roadside restaurant, “Stonehouse” for lunch outside of Foulis on the A9.  Beside the restaurant was their giftshop.  There covering two entire top shelves was this selection of Gins.

This is without a doubt the largest selection of Gins I’ve ever seen in one place.  Certainly outside of a ‘warehouse’ type store.  🙂



Random Martini Quote for the Day

He knows just how I like my martini – full of alcohol.
Homer Simpson


For more fun quotes check out the “Martini Quotes” page, or click the link:  Martini Quotes.

Random Martini Quote for the Day

I’m not talking a cup of cheap gin splashed over an ice cube.   I’m talking satin, fire and ice; Fred Astaire in a glass; surgical cleanliness, insight, comfort; redemption and absolution.  I’m talking MARTINI



For more fun quotes check out the “Martini Quotes” page, or click the link:  Martini Quotes.