What Your Martini Says About You

Enjoying a Martini at Sunset overlooking the ocean.

A friend sent me the following link to “Wine Enthusiast” Magazine with the comment that they were not sure they agreed with the story’s conclusions.  And I would agree that I’m not sure I agreed either.

But it’s an interesting read and a short read.  I offer it up here to my readers so you may make your own judgement.

What Your Martini Says About You | Wine Enthusiast Magazine

 

I always welcome suggestions for stories or links to interesting “Martini” articles, so please don’t hesitate to contribute.

The Most Interesting Man in the World???

I don’t usually drink beer……

the-most-interesting-man-in-the-world

He once caught the Loch Ness Monster…with a cane pole, but threw it back

When I first heard the Dos Equis ad campaign with “The Most Interesting Man in the World” sometime around 2006 I was amazed.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  They were hilarious, outrageous, and preposterous.   The video commercials with their flashbacks were just as funny, flamboyant, and (almost) unbelievable.  The stunts were right at the far edge of ‘possible’.

His tears cure cancer, too bad he never cries.

The audio narration, either accompanying the videos or solo on the radio, was brilliant:  Creative, Imaginative, and Unbelievable!  But we all believed, or at least wanted to.  And we laughed uncontrollably.  When we heard a new line we couldn’t wait to get home and share it with family and friends.  And when it came on the radio or TV again we told everyone around to ‘be quiet and listen to this new line’.

He taught Chuck Norris martial arts

And that, I believe, is the first key to this phenomenon.   We wanted to believe everything about the MIMINTW.  Yes, it was all implausible, if not impossible.  But it sparked our imagination and our inner adventurer.  We thought or wished ‘if only’, I could do that!

His signature won a Pulitzer.

The second key to this campaign’s success was Jonathan Goldsmith, the REAL MIMINTW.  He looked and played the part perfectly.   He was sort of a mix of your rich, genial, great uncle, Ernest Hemingway, and a retired James Bond.  Young kids wanted to grow up to be him and us older folk wondered how we could catch up with his exploits.

Sharks have a week dedicated to him.

When he announced his impending one-way trip to Mars (i.e., retirement), I believed that the advertising campaign had reached a logical and honorable end.  And I was happy with that.  I didn’t feel any loss or sadness.  The end was natural and acceptable.

He once won the Tour-de-France, but was disqualified for riding a unicycle

Shows how much I know about advertising.  Apparently a 15% increase in sales was just too much incentive and now we have a new MIMINTW.   Except he’s NOT.

He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels

Maybe I’m a bit biased, or just pissed off that Dos Equis couldn’t just let this go gracefully, but this ad campaign sequel so far sucks.  I’m sure the actor (Augustin Legrand) is a fine person and, truth be told, if Dos Equis offered me the spot I’d jump on it without hesitation.  But 1) he doesn’t look the part and 2) the writing is just a pale imitation of the original.

He once parallel parked a freight train

I’m sorry, the new MIMINTW is just too young.  This character needs a certain ‘gravitas’ that comes from a life time of extraordinary achievements.   This new guy just doesn’t have it.  The beard is there, the weathered face, and a great voice.   But he needs a bit of grey and that look in his eyes that makes you believe you’re just getting the Reader’s Digest Abbreviated version of his life.  And that’s just not there, yet.

No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard

Finally, and most importantly, the new scripts are, IMHO, a bit lame.  Clearly the original writers have moved on to bigger and better things and that loss shows in the new commercials.  The new ads are indeed clever (Air-boat in the Sahara!).  But they don’t seem to have the almost impossible feel:
….. Air-boat in the Sahara?  Totally possible!!
….. Kicking a coconut?  Seems feasible, if painful.
….. Running through the streets of some Asian megalopolis with a piglet and a beautiful woman at your side?   Absolutely!  (Maybe not with the gun toting guy chasing me …. but maybe.)
….. Pulling a soccer ball out of a well?  Sure, I could do that tomorrow.

He is fluent in all languages, including three that he only speaks

And that’s the problem!  These feats need to be fanciful, fantastic, even fantasy!   On the boarder of impossible!   There should be nothing the MIMINTW does that leaves me with a shrug and the thought “Sure, I could do that tomorrow”.

When in Rome, they do as HE does

I do hope that Dos Equis improves their scripts and feats over the next few months.  I may never learn to accept the ‘new guy’ as the real MIMINTW but if Dos Equis gets back to the ‘implausible, nearly impossible’ lines it will at least be entertaining and funny.  Until that time its just NOT The Most Interesting Man in the World anymore but a pale imitator.

He has won the lifetime achievement award, twice.

….. but when I do, its a locally brewed craft beer.

For a few more quotes:
http://www.livin3.com/100-most-interesting-man-in-the-world-quotes

2nd Anniversary!

This month, December 24th to be exact, completes the second full year of exciting Martini making and mayhem.  Its been a great fun writing and I hope to continue through my third year.

I want to take a moment and thank my faithful readers.  Your comments and support have been very much appreciated and have helped keep me going on those occasions when I have been a bit less motivated to write.  I really couldn’t have done as much without you.

Looking back, I’d like to point out that my second year marked the first post written by a ‘guest’ author!  That is much appreciated and I hope to get a few more next year, hopefully by another guest author, or two.   Restaurant and Martini reviews are ALWAYS welcome here.  Especially Martini Reviews!

Going into the third year I plan on starting to review Gins.  This seems like a logical extension to Restaurant Reviews and general Martini musings.  Please forward any suggestions along this line and I’ll make a point of commenting on your suggestions.

I would also like to take a moment to pat myself on the back …. the “Martini Quotes” page is, I believe, currently the best collection of Martini Quotes anywhere!   But if I’ve missed one, please let me know.  I also have a Martini Jokes page!  But it appears to be a bit weak at this time.   While I keep my eyes open to new, or at least uncollected, jokes your suggestions would be greatly welcomed.

This blog has evolved over time and will continue to evolve.  But I do plan on keeping the posts at least remotely related to Martinis.   As the tag line says “A blog for thoughts, ideas, comments, about the Perfect Martini: How to make, how to enjoy, where to enjoy.

twitter For those of you who also frequent the ‘twitterverse’, you can find more Martini mayhem, along with a myriad of other “finer things in life”, at @Shkn_Nt_Strrd.   Comments there are always welcome also.

pinterest-logo-2    There is also a Pinterest page where you can find may of the photos that appear in these blogs: https://www.pinterest.com/PerfectMartini/martini-photos/

If you like these posts and want to be notified by email when they come in, please subscribe to the blog…. over on the left column.     😉

The Gambling Cowboy, Temecula, CA

gambling-cowboy

So you’ve trekked down to Temecula in Riverside County and had a wonderful day in the sun sampling a myriad of local wines at the multitude of wineries that line the valley and now you want to kick back someplace and cap the day with a Martini and a steak.   I have a suggestion for you, The Gambling Cowboy Chophouse and Saloon!

It is located on 5th street in “Old Town” Temecula, just off Interstate 15.   It is just off the street on the third floor of a rustic building that looks a lot like an old barn.   The inside of the restaurant is spacious, warm, and inviting.  The decor is, exactly as you would expect…. a cowboy saloon.

I will note one feature that I really like …. their etched glass panel cutting through the dining hall.  It is beautiful.  Sadly its also a bit of a challenge to photograph.  You’ll have to enhance the photo with your imagination … or go take a look!

gambling-cowboy-etched-glass

The food is indeed very good with a definite emphasis on, as you might guess, steaks.  But there are also seafood and chicken choices as well an assortment of salads.  Their Martinis are also very good: well chilled, ample, and served quickly.  After a day in the sun their Martini was very much needed and hit the spot perfectly.

The Martini stem the Gambling Cowboy uses is a bit unusual, as you can see in the photo above.  Those of you who know me would expect me to blast this based on my prior posts such as Thoughts on Stemware, Part Three and To Stem or Not to Stem.  But this one I sort of like.  Certainly not traditional but, more importantly, it is not trendy.

Martini Glass Upright  Overall the Gambling Cowboy gets one stem for its very good Martini that is most welcome after a hot day in Temecula!

For Gin selection The Gambling Cowboy only gets a C.  Their selection includes the “Big 5” as I like to call it: Tanqueray, Tanqueray Ten, Bombay, Bombay Sapphire, Hendricks and also Beefeater.

For more information:  http://www.ilovethecowboy.com/

How Dry Can You Go?

Vermouth Ad 1

How Dry is Dry?  Can a Martini by “too” Dry?   It’s a subject that attracts a lot of humor, such as:

“A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.”
Noël Coward

“I would like to observe the vermouth from across the room while I drink my martini.”
Sir Winston Churchill

The subject also garners some waxing philosophical…. such as:

“I’d like  dry martini, Mr. Quoc, a very dry martini.  A very dry, arid, barren, desiccated, veritable dust-bowl of a martini.  I want a martin that could be declared a disaster area.  Mix me just such a martini”
Hawkeye Pierce.

Clearly a Martini can only be ‘so dry’, as once there is zero Vermouth in the drink, there can be no less and thus no drier.  But the two quotes above provide an humorous implied ‘dryness’ level based upon how remotely the cocktail can be referenced to Vermouth, or its home country Italy.

Which brings me to my latest ‘driest martini’ story:

A man sits down at the bar in the RMS Queen Mary on its way from England to the US.  He asks the bartender for a very dry Martini.  The bartender responds, “Sir, we make the driest martini here on the Queen Mary”.  The man looks a bit unsure and asks, “How do you know that you have the driest Martini?”  The bartender replies, “Well half way through the voyage we will pass the SS United States.  When we do that I go to the top deck with our bottle of Vermouth and the United States Bartender goes to the top of his deck with his bottle and we salute Italy”.

It seems there will always be some debate about the driest of the dry.  And that’s a great thing as it is always in good fun and provides us with a laugh or three.

Of course I like my Martini with just a hint of Vermouth, what one bar keep referred to as “In-n-Out”*.  A Martini without any Vermouth is really just chilled Gin in a martini stem.

As I’ve commented before, “A martini stem does not a Martini make”.

(These quotes and jokes, and more, can be found on the “Martini Quotes” and “Martini Jokes” pages.)

*In-n-Out Martini:  Take a capful of Vermouth and pour it over your ice, swirl the Vermouth around the ice and then drain the Vermouth.

 

Friday Funny

TAPS Martini

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.  After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.

The bartender says, “Look, buddy, I’ll bring ya’ martinis all night long – but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.” The customer replies, “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it’s time to go home.”

For more fun Martini jokes check out the appropriately titled “Martini Jokes” page, or click the link: Martini Jokes.

If you like these posts and want to be notified by email when they come in, please subscribe to the blog…. over on the left.  😉

Do All Hotel Bars Suck??

OK, maybe I should ask ‘do all business hotel’s bars suck?’

I’m sure there are divine resorts out there somewhere on a moonlit beach that serve awesome never-to-be-forgotten martinis.    And exquisite penthouse bars topping luxury hotels in the cosmopolitan centers of the world that serve flaming ice cold martinis in giant stein sized stems.  You know, the places with Astons parked outside, topless Victoria Secret models lounging at the pools, and where cognac or champagne ads are perpetually being filmed.

Most of us mere mortals do not stay at these places on business or even family vacations. No, most of us business travelers are not CEOs, CFOs, CTOs, or C ‘pick a title’ Os.  We are are the road warriors that do real work for our companies.

We end up at the Hampton/Courtyard/Ramada/Howard Johnson/Four Points.  And if they have a bar, they just suck.   But what do you after 8 hours of flying in two, or more, aluminum cans and you finally get to the hotel at 9:47pm??  Go out looking for a decent bar??

You grimace, sigh heavily, and go down to the local hotel bar and order a drink.   Then you pray.  Pray that the local beer slinger knows what a martini is.   Pray that the local concept of a DRY martini is not a 2 to 1 ratio!!!  In either direction.  O.o  Pray that they know the difference between a twist and a slice, or worse a wedge, of lemon.

YES, I have experienced each of these disgraces to the noble Martini.   And many more.  I’ve previously detailed some of these experiences of my Martini pet peeves which you can see in my previous post, ingeniously named Martini Making Pet Peeves.

This is why I try very hard to stay at the local big city hotels when I travel, much to my boss’s amusement.  Even if I have to drive an hour into ‘the sticks’ to get to my meeting.  In the city I have a much better chance to find a good bar that knows how to make a good Martini.

Driving an hour to work in the morning is better than an evening with a bad martini!  If I just had an Aston it would be two hours!

Friday Funny

Backyard Martinis

I was watching my son act like James Bond in the garden earlier today.
He wasn’t going round pretending to shoot people,
he was sipping martinis and chatting up all the ladies that walked by.
I’m so proud of him.

 

For more fun Martini jokes check out the appropriately titled “Martini Jokes” page, or click the link: Martini Jokes.

If you like these posts and want to be notified by email when they come in, please subscribe to the blog…. over on the left.  😉

Martini Making Pet Peeves

Do you have a pet peeve regarding Martini Making?  I do, several.

Having now carefully observed many bartenders making my Martinis and, on occasion, taking notes I have come up with a few pet peeves on bartender’s Martini making processes.  Now, I’m not going to claim that any of these little nits actually make a difference in the taste of the Martini, but they sure do affect the enjoyment of the Martini.

My first, and by far the biggest, pet peeve is leaving my finished martini on the bar or prep station instead of giving it to me.  I can see that the Martini is done and yet there it sits over by the bartender instead of in front of me.  It’s getting warm and my tip is getting lower by the second.

I don’t care if your boss has a question.  Or the phone rings.  Or the bar-back needs guidance.  Or, god forbid, your spouse / GF/BF calls.  I’m the customer and my Martini should be delivered immediately upon completion.

The second pet peeve is similar to the first but not as egregious.  And that is the barkeep taking FOREVER to make the martini.  First walking to one end of the bar to get a martini stem before putting it down on the prep station.  Then looking around and getting  some ice to put in the stem.  Perhaps going to get some water to put on the ice in the stem.  Then walking to the far end of the bar to get the gin and bringing to the prep station.   Looking around for a jigger before walking over to the tool chest and finding it.  Finally mixing the Martini and then looking around for the garnish.  Oh, right, there isn’t one, so then we start the process of looking for a lemon to make the twist…..

Speaking of the garnish; pet peeve number three.  Get the garnish ready FIRST.  Put the olives on the toothpick or strip the twist off the lemon first.  You’ve properly shaken the gin and vermouth and poured into the chilled stem.  It’s all now perfectly mixed and nicely chilled.  But if you start working on your garnish now the Martini is just warming up.

Next Pet Peeve: Inadequately stirred Martinis.  As you know I prefer my Martini shaken, but I don’t ask for it shaken.  If the house policy is stirring, then I’m fine with that.  BUT, stir it enough to properly chill the Martini.  A quick 10 second stir is NOT enough.  It needs a good 60 seconds of stirring.  If you can’t take the time to properly prepare a stirred and chilled Martini then shake it.

Rarest Pet Peeve:  Not knowing how to make a Martini.  Enough said!

Final Pet Peeves.  This is for all the other little “tip killing” annoyances:
•Not knowing what Gins you stock.  Really?  There usually aren’t that many.  Or are Gin drinkers really that rare?
•Not knowing that you’re out of one of the Gins.  I’ll cut you a little slack here if you’ve just come on duty.
•Dirty stem.  Didn’t you look at the stem when you picked it up?  Didn’t you see the lipstick or left over chocolate on it?  Or did you just not care?
•Cracked stem.  Again, didn’t you look at the stem when you picked it up?
•Soapy stem.  Hey, I’m really glad you washed the stem, but next time please rinse it completely.

Vodka Clown Show?

I’m not much of a Vodka drinker, and certainly never in Martinis.  None-the-less one cannot have helped but notice the recent trend in flavored Vodkas.  I’ve observed this with great amusement and occasional bewilderment.  I mean Bacon Vodka?  Really?  If I want bacon I’ll have bacon.  No need to blemish bacon with vodka.

I bring this up because I recently read a blog commenting that perhaps this trend is happily coming to an end.  Rather than repeat the whole article I’m just going to refer you to the source:  Good Libations.  Enjoy.

https://phodgins.wordpress.com/